Henry said I looked like a gift wrapper. :">

I need a family in the University; I can’t go on clinging to either Issa or Bennet forever. I know I won’t survive. So I wanted to join an academic organization. And I did right away, despite my current health instability [or mental incapability]. K

Nobody said it was easy. But it’s such a shame that I find it so hard. My application takes place as I am being subjected to a number of medications and regular bed rests. It’s indeed a enormous challenge striving to be an active student when I can’t even eat normally, or stay overtime in school when I’m still completely dependent to a nebulizer so I could sleep. This difficulty was precisely the reason that I deferred from my application to a different society.

As I battled with some people’s mood and unpredictability, I got to discover what the things that matter.  I might have been left by friends in the process--leaving me with a lot of insecurities and a great deal of emptiness—I least I got to gain tons of new confidantes and some kind of self-confidence. If it weren’t for these people, I would have died a million times on my own.

I’ve to admit I almost lost my mind along the way. I came to a point that I badly needed to give up. However, I’m holding back for infinite reasons to stay, more knock-knock jokes to hear, and many experiences to look forward to. I owe it to my batchmates, especially to Kath, the gravity that kept pulling me.

It’s not yet over, in fact I just had my second to the last shot of death before the expected relief. The ceremony was sacred and I had sworn on its secrecy. It already felt like it lasted for forever but my sanity was entranced longer. Thank God my ever reliable technique* worked and I survived.

*I normally inflict myself some sort of a physical pain and just focused on it until my other agony ends.

PS: I would like to thank my sponsors, Juana for my dress—I was uncomfortable all along, Tommy Hilfiger for my bag—its  color distracted me a lot, and Aerosoles for my high heels—my toes hurt and my leg muscles weren’t relaxed.